I am a young woman who went through domestic violence.
I was in a relationship for five months and unexpectedly got pregnant. When I told my ex-boyfriend about the pregnancy, he refused to take responsibility and insisted I should have an abortion. I asked him, “What if I die during the abortion, or what if this is the only child God gives me?”
I refused to abort and decided that even if I had to suffer, my child would share the same struggles with me.
When I was four months pregnant, my family arranged for him and his family to take me in. After moving into his home, I stayed with him for only three days before he started mistreating me. He would sleep out for days, leaving me with no food or money. When I tried to call him, a woman answered and said he was with her, and I felt helpless. I endured three days of hunger because I didn’t want to complain to my family too soon. His behaviour continued, and I became anaemic from lack of food. He would also talk to other women late at night while I had no peace.
This continued until I gave birth to my daughter.
After my baby was born, he started giving me some money, but it was never enough for both of us. I stopped caring about his actions and focused on caring for my daughter. When she was six months old, I decided to leave him and stay with my mom, as he didn’t call, send money, or help with medical expenses.
Fortunately, I participated in the YW4A initiative, which taught me about my rights and empowered me to stand up for myself and others. Through the programme, I learned that I could hold him accountable.
With advice from a fellow trainee, I went to his workplace, where he worked for an NGO, and reported the situation. I was told to go to the Ministry of Gender, where I was directed to the Juvenile Court to file for child support. The court ordered him to pay $150 a month for child maintenance, but he only paid for two months before stopping.
One day, my daughter became seriously ill with diarrhoea and vomiting, and I had no money to take her to the hospital. I went to his house for help, but he refused, saying it wasn’t his problem. With the help of a neighbour, we went to the hospital, but he abandoned us there, not checking on us or paying the bills. I grew frustrated and took the matter back to court, where he was arrested and detained.
Ultimately, he paid only part of the money he owed and begged for forgiveness. I told him that I couldn’t forgive him this time, as he had played with my life and the life of my daughter. I was teaching him a lesson, not just for me but to stop him from mistreating another vulnerable woman. He was sent to prison and is now unemployed.
Thanks to the training I received from the YW4A programme, I now know my rights and will not let any man treat me or my child unfairly without fighting for what is rightfully ours.
I am a single mother, struggling but determined to provide for my daughter.
